Carlin Quote of the day

IF I WERE IN CHARGE OF THE NETWORKS

I'm tired of television announcers, hosts, newscasters, and commentators, nibbling away at the English language, making obvious and ignorant mistakes.

Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence. If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father's, it will not be ironic. It will be coincidence. Irony is "a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result." For instance: Darryl Stingley, the pro football player, was paralyzed aftera brutal hit by Jack Tatum. Now Darryl Stingley's son plays football, and if the son should be come paralyzed while playing, it will not be ironic. It will be coincidental. If Darryl Stingley's son paralyzes someone else, that will be closer to ironic. If he paralyzes Jack Tatum's son that will be precisely ironic.

I'm getting an OFFICE!!!!

YIPPEE!!! I'm getting an office with windows and a door and everything! :) No more cubicle life for me....hehehehhehe...OMG I might actually get more WORK done in the office instead of having to do stuff at home because it's so loud and distracting!