Jeff Foxworthy on Upstate New York

(I can attest to 99% of this being absolutely TRUE! -- Lived their 27 years!)

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches
Of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you
Might live in Upstate New York .

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights a year
Because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the nation, and Syracuse gets
More snow than any other major city in the US , you might live in Upstate, NY.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through May, you might live
In Upstate New York

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you
Might live, bundled up, in Upstate New York .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work
There, you might live in Upstate NY.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his Forehead, you might live in Upstate New York

If you have worn shorts and a parka on the same day, you might live in Upstate New York

If you have had a lengthy phone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong
Number, you might live in Upstate New York

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:

"Vacation" means going South past Syracuse for the weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, Without flinching.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both Unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to Use them.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road Construction.

You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

Down South to you means Corning .

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed!

You go out for a fish fry every Friday.

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."

You actually understand these jokes, you might be an Upstate NY REDNECK!